I want to walk on stilts...naked
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
