Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
