My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
