took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
