hotel room ftw
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize