in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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