I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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