Well apparently he's into motor boating.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
