No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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