ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
