Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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