Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
