Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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