So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
