I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
