Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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