ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Randomize
