did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
