Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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