I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
