hotel room ftw
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
