I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
