I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
