need another drink. this is the easiest way
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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