I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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