You're so nebulous sometimes
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
