TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
