How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
