hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
