sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
