You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
