There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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