ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
