There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
