Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
