i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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