I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
