you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
