Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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