It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
