guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
