We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
