Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
