I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
