And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
