Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
