hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
