I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
