Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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