my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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