she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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