She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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