So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
