They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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