I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
