why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I had to cum in my sink.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
