Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
