Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
