Even the bartender felt bad for me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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