hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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