The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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