Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
PANTIES FOUND
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
